Motorcycle Bad Girl
by MortalEnemies1234
Summary: He's a model. She's a singer. He broke her heart. And now he wants her back. But she's a long way from the shy girl she was in highschool. She's a Motorcycle Bad Girl, and about to trample over his life in her leather boots. AU CLACE!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone. It's Me! I feel I've hit a big deadend with my stories at the moment, so I've decided to go ahead and start a new one. With Baddass Clary!**

**Now, the song is the amazing Evanescence's Good Enough. I love it! Inspiration for this story- How We Roll, Loick Essien.**

He was just a model. An Abercrombie Model, to be fair, but he wasn't an actor. So he had no idea why he had been dragged to some studio by his agent with the promise of something that would increase his popularity tenfold. There were cables everywhere, and cameras scattered around the huge interior space, with huge lamps directing light onto a stage located directly opposite him. People in dark clothes were scurrying around with various props, items of clothing and pieces of equipment.

A man with a mustache that looked like he had a small hamster growing on his lip directed him to a small dressing room where a young, pretty makeup artist was waiting for him. She applied a subtle layer of makeup to his already perfect face and left, not before slipping a sheet of paper with her phone number on into his pocket. A costume was hanging on the back of the door, and as he shrugged into it, he once again wondered what the hell he was doing here.

There was a knock on the door, and man with a headset stuck his thin face around the door.

"Mr Herondale? We're ready for you."

Someone must have told them he played the piano, because the man shoved a piece of sheet music into his hands. He was directed to sit an old grand piano, and told that whatever she did, just play the music. He tested the tune, and found it easy to pick up. In all fairness, he knew the song very well, especially since its airplay had quadrupled since singer/ songwriter Clarissa Morgenstern had performed a cover version for her new album.

Action was called. The camera was on him.

He started to play the long introduction, listening to the sounds of the orchestra behind him.

_Under your spell again.  
>I can't say no to you.<br>Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.  
>I can't say no to you.<br>_

It was her. Clarissa Morgenstern. He was playing and performing in a music video for Clarissa Morgenstern.

_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.  
>Now I can't let go of this dream.<br>I can't breathe but I feel...  
><em>

The bench next to him moved as she sat there, resting her head lightly on his shoulder. Her hair was tickling his neck, she was so close.

_Good enough,  
>I feel good enough for you.<br>_

Her voice was in his ear, sweet and passionate. It had body and soul that spoke to the very depths of his heart, yet couldn't ever imagine feelings of love for hearing pouring from him, the boy too destroyed to love. Yet her presence alone was so soothing to his destroyed heart that he realised that soul - that life itself was like a harmony, sometimes sacrifices had to be made in order to maintain the sweet, sweet music.

_Drink up sweet decadence.  
>I can't say no to you,<br>And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.  
>I can't say no to you.<em>

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.  
>Now I can't let go of this dream.<br>Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,  
>I feel good enough.<br>It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

She was on the other side of the piano now, looking straight at him, her green eyes glowering under their smoky lids, her fiery ringlets falling around her elfin face perfectly.

_And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.  
>Pour real life down on me.<br>'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.  
>Am I good enough for you to love me too?<br>_

She was beautiful, he could comprehend that, but he didn't like beautiful girls. He liked the tall ones with long supple legs and stick thin bodies with decently sized breasts that were at least size C or above. He liked the models he worked with, picture perfect girls that weren't dangerous like Clarissa Morgenstern.

_So take care what you ask of me,  
>'cause I can't say no.<em>

And then it was over. She was gone, her flowing black dress following her, and her fiery locks his last view of her, the girl on fire, the dangerously beautiful beast that had crushed many a mans heart and then chewed him to ruin.

Oh yes, Clarissa Morgenstern was dangerous.

And she was his sister's best friend.

And she had been in love with him, like every other girl.

And he broke her heart, like every other girl.

And she hated him.

No other girl ever hated him with the poison she did.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, he was driving in his car when the song came on. It brought back memories of that day, sitting at that worn old piano that looked like it should never sound vaguely tuned, yet it was. He remembered a flash of fire, icy green that swallowed him whole and hated him with every fibre of their being.<p>

Clarissa Morgenstern wasn't like any other girl. She did cry for days when he destroyed her, but after that, instead of begging him to even consider her, she built walls so thick that he thought she was going to suffocate under them.

But when the mask fell away, all people saw was a new girl, one that didn't let life push her over and walk on her in its high heeled boots. It was then she ditched painting for singing, canvas for stage. She took the school, the city, and then the world by storm. She did it without batting an eyelid. She stopped wearing innocent dresses and regulation length skirts, and started wearing leather and dark makeup that at first made her look like a panda, but then, as she got used to applying it, just made her look deadly.

And she was. She shredded boys hearts the way he shredded girls, but more with a more ruthless distaste that made him wonder if she had a heart since he'd handed hers back to her like a discarded plaything. She was untouchable, and everyone knew it. no one bothered Clarissa Morgenstern. No one.

**Did you like it?**

**Bow Wow and Ciao until next time**

**You know where to find me (Especially on Twitter VikkiLouiseJ)**

**Vikki xx ;)~**


	2. Chapter 2 I want to be loved

**thank you so much for all your amazing reviews my people. I know its taken me ages to update but I had to get the ending of this chappie perfect,a dn my computer deleted my original draft :. Also, Serenity Shadowstar asked me to do something, so I'm going to tell you guys what I said to the plea to make sure this story has a happy ending- Eventually!**

**Disclaimer: You know what, I dont Own NADA!**

She wasn't shy to say that she wasn't a very nice woman. Her favourite occupation appeared to be breaking hearts and tearing lives apart. Ever since Jace Herondale had thrown her heart bad at her like an old rag that was no use anymore. Her love was like a wet blanket to him- something that once had use for comfort and warmth, but now simply froze you outside in and had no real purpose only to make you sick.

She'd changed since then.

Jace didn't matter to her anymore, because he didn't deserve her. His male prostitute ways didn't bother her because she was five times better than him, or at least, she was.

Now, she was no better than him, really.

The first heart she'd broken had been her best friends, Simon. She went out with him once, had a good time and kicked him to the curb like yesterday's news. He was clingy, irritating and generally the worst friend ever. Isabelle understood. Isabelle was a man eater, ten times worse than her. She had a different boy toy for every night of the week, and none of them knew about the others. And when she got tired of them, she would just abandon them in the harshest possible way, refusing to talk to them, or interact with them in any way.

Not that Izzy cared.

No, she just told them when the end arrived, just telling them that their time had come and a clean break (cutting off all contact) was the best way forward. She moved on as quick as it took her to get bored of a guy, and yet due to her superstar status there was no shortage of guys who were willing to have a go.

Ever since Jace had played in that stupid music video she couldn't stop thinking about him though. His hands, the way they flitted across the piano keys as he played. His eyes, the way the gold smouldered as he looked at her across the top of the music. The way his hair was neatly cropped and styled perfectly. The way his shoulder felt just the right shape and texture under her head when she rested it there. Anyone would think she was in love with the guy.

But she wasn't, obviously.

If there was one thing Clarissa Morgenstern wasn't, it was in love with the guy who changed her from pretty innocent geek to the motorcycle bad girl she was now.

She hadn't been surprised when Jace landed his modelling contract, especially when he started appearing as the pin up for Abercrombie and Fitch. Jace was the golden boy in the eyes of the world, and she was the girl who paraded around in leathers under bright stage lights and with a microphone in her hand.

That was her life. She loved it, the fame, the glory, and the way that people actually respected her for once. It was addictive; the feeling that people actually recognised her existence on the earth. It made her forget the way people had treated her before.

She tossed her red hair back over her shoulder and pulled on her night black helmet and swung a leather clad leg over her motorbike. The engine roared underneath her, and she grinned, kicking off the break and pulling out onto the road. She knew where she was going but that didn't stop the rush of adrenaline from the unknown, the feeling that the road could do anything at any time, that it took one wrong move from another driver and a simple ride would turn into something way more interesting.

The New York streets flew past her in a blur as she sped along them, watching people as they went about their everyday lives. She eventually made it to her destination- an underground parking garage where the lights were so dim no one ever recognised her.

She always climbed the stairs up to Izzy's apartment to avoid the general population who knew better than to use a staircase in a New York apartment building with a lift. She had her own set of keys to let her in the door, but Izzy had started to put the security chain across when she was home, so Clary lightly bashed her fist against the door.

The chain rattled and a girl with dark hair and icy blue eyes opened the door. Izzy was wearing her favourite venomous red lipstick and a pair of killer queen heels that fully placed her in the class of Female Dominatrix. The dark red eye shadow made her eyes jump out and matched the huge ruby that always hung around her throat. Izzy said it was like her security blanket- that it warned her when danger was near.

However, the danger vibe Izzy emitted soon dispersed when she saw it was Clary at the door.

"Come on in Chica!" she said brightly, and Clary did just that.

* * *

><p>Clarissa. God, if Jace had known she would become so famous he would never had left her in the first place. Finding anyone vaguely famous to go out with was difficult at best. At the moment, he'd just managed to land rising pop star Kaelie Sparkles for a date, at the very least. It was a hard ask, but with a body like his and a career that many a male model would die for, Jace could sleep safe and sound knowing that there was no man in the world who had a greater life than him.<p>

Except he couldn't stop wondering what would have happened if he hadn't of been rejected by Clarissa (especially when Izzy had blabbered to Alec that Clarissa was in love with him). Would she have continued being one of the nerds of the school, hanging out with Simon Lewis and his wannabe band (who were no so well known that they appeared at least once every hour on Kerrang) and painting in her free time? Or would she have naturally progressed from Geek to superstar, and had her hate for him only brought about that change a little sooner? All he knew was that she was better off than him now, rather than the other way around.

The radio crackled into life as he got into his car.

"Here's the brand new chart topping hit from Clarissa Morgenstern, _**I want to be loved**_!"

_I had a roof over head  
>Had shoes on my feet<br>Yeah sure I was fed  
>But no one was there when I was in need... yeah<em>

Jace stopped what he was doing, wondering what had turned Clarissa from her usual song writing to something so… different. The lyrics had something more behind them, something real. Something that felt and hurt and loved all at the same time. Something more like the Clarissa he broke. Something more like the way she used to paint before they really met.

_So who am I now?_  
><em>Who do you want me to be?<em>  
><em>I can forgive you but I won't relive you<em>  
><em>I ain't the same scared kid I use to be<em>

That was true. She was nothing like she used to be, nothing like the shy little girl who cried when the bullies turned on her, one of the social outcasts, one the elite few that didn't cling onto the power of popularity.

_I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive_  
><em>Don't want the world to pass me by<em>  
><em>I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die thinking my life was just a lie<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>

He realised what she was singing about then. She was telling the world that she was over him, that he didn't matter to her anymore and that she was long gone and moved on.

_I found a picture, our so called family tree... yeah_  
><em>I broke all the branches looking for answers<em>  
><em>Don't you know that it ain't how it supposed to be<em>

A reference to the broken family shed experienced as she grew up. Her father was very one minded, very political and all about preserving bloodlines and against cross breeding of different races. He saw a black man and a white woman to be unnatural, disgusting. Clarissa's mother on the other hand was very different. She was an artist, someone who saw beauty and love even in the darkest parts of the world. She threw Clarissa's dad out just after she got pregnant with her second child, Clarissa, and he took their first child, Jonathon with him.

They returned when Clarissa turned sixteen, and basically ruined her idyllic life. By the time they finally moved on, she'd firmly turned to Izzy for friendship and guidance, and then just when her life was starting to get back on track, he'd ripped her heart out.

_I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive_  
><em>Don't want the world to pass me by<em>  
><em>I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die thinking my life was just a lie<em>  
><em>I wanna give, I'm ready to try, willing to lay it on the line<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>  
><em>I want to be!<em>

_I ain't gonna cry, I don't want to scream_  
><em>But I got so much left unsaid inside of me<em>  
><em>I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive<em>  
><em>Don't want the world to pass me by<em>  
><em>I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die thinking my life was just a lie<em>  
><em>I wanna give, I'm ready to try, willing to lay it on the line<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>  
><em>I just want to be loved<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>  
><em>I want to be loved<em>

Jace turned the key and listened to the rumble of the engine. He took a deep breath and flicked on the indicator, slipping the car into gear and pulling out onto the road. One touch of the accelerator and he was on his way. The window was open with the stereo turned up so loud that he couldn't even hear his own thoughts, which was precisely what he wanted. The road was almost empty, and only the occasional car turned the corner at the junction.

He gently pushed the accelerator, and pulled away from the pavement.

* * *

><p>Clary zipped up the front of her leather jacket and grabbed her helmet off the leather seat of her motorcycle. She leant forward and tucked her long red hair into her helmet. Swinging one leather clad leg over her steel horse. The stiff leather creaked slightly, but she didn't really notice. She was too caught up in making sure that the bike was ready to go.<p>

Kicking the engine to start, she kicked up the stand and pulled away from the side of the tarmac, checking over her shoulder as she joined the quiet road. Even over the roar of the engine and through her helmet she could hear the pounding of bass from a nearby car. She couldn't see the vehicle, but she could hear it.

Perhaps it was because she was focusing on the music, because the bass drowned out her thoughts, especially those of Jace. Perhaps it was because the road was almost devoid of any life. Perhaps it was because she just wasn't paying attention to the world around her.

The car hit her side on, pushing her across to the other side of the road with a screech of metal and a sudden hiss of air escaping from shocked lungs. Her head cracked against the pavement edge, causing the world to spin, and pain in her lower body was almost intolerable. She blacked out.

* * *

><p>Jace was quite happy to cruise behind the motorcycle- after all, it wasn't doing him any harm, and the rider, a woman from her shape, had an excellent ass. But nothing could prepare him for the collision that occurred in front of him.<p>

The woman was shoved, still on the bike until her head hit the opposite pavement, leaving a crack and a large dent in her helmet. The bike twisted and tangled in her legs, and fell on top of the one which didn't meet the car which threw her off. The driver, perhaps in a fit of panic hit reverse, speeding off, leaving a horrified Jace to leap from his car, looking back in the direction of the hit and run driver long enough to memorise the plate, before rushing to the aid of the rider.

She wasn't moving, and Jace feared the worst as he approached her still form.

And then he got a greater shock.

There was only one person he had ever known who had red hair the colour of the strand that was protruding from underneath the rider's helmet.

Clarissa.

**dun dun duh! Cliffie!**

**Lyrics belong to the amazing (insert name here)! cyber cookies for anyone who gets it right!**

**Ciao**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	3. Chapter 3 Lego House

Jace couldn't believe what was happening. The ambulance had arrived in a screech of sirens and flashes of blue lights, and people had poured onto the scene. It took two people to lift the motorbike off of her, just to make sure that they didn't drop it on her again. There was blood everywhere and the term "_massive blood loss_" was being thrown around as the paramedics bustled around placing an oxygen mask over her face and fixing on this brace and this splint. She looked so frail, her leathers expertly cut away to expose her injuries, a large bruise purpling on her forehead. They were also muttering something about "_suspected head trauma_" and how they should get her to the hospital as soon as possible.

"Sir? Excuse me sir, but I have to ask, are you any relation to the young lady?" one of the paramedics asked, waiting patiently for his reply.

Completely without thinking Jace blurted "I'm her boyfriend."

* * *

><p>Isabelle arrived at the hospital as they whisked Clary away to surgery. Jace was pacing, and he kept looking at his hands, a look of what could only be described as shock and resignation on his face.<p>

But Izzy didn't see that. She just saw the boy that broke her best friend's heart, tore it to pieces and left her to pick them up again. She saw someone heartless, someone who quite clearly would land her friend in hospital and then have the audacity to show up and pretend to be concerned.

"What the hell are you doing here!" she screamed, slapping him across the face with all her might. "How dare you! How dare you show your face here after all you did! You should be ashamed you heartless bastard!"

He looked up at her, his face pink and stinging, with eyes that were empty and the expression of a man that was broken and dying inside.

It was then Izzy looked down at his hands and saw the blood there, and said "oh hell no. you cannot possibly, after all this time, have decided you're in love with her. Jace, you idiot. You just love to ruin everything don't you?"

* * *

><p>The radio was on in her room, playing music softly. It was a private room, with a security guard who sat a few metres down the hall just in case anyone who shouldn't be visiting appeared. She needed her rest, and she needed privacy.<p>

The hours that she was in surgery Jace spent talking to Isabelle, and by the end of a lengthy discussion about his feelings for the red head, he'd realised one thing. Izzy was right. He was in love with Clarissa. He knew that she didn't reciprocate anymore, and that she never would, but Izzy, her ever so wise best friend simply sat there and said "she's very good at putting on a front Jace. She won't admit it to herself, let alone anyone else, but there's a part of her that stops her forming any serious relationship with a guy because she's already found one. And hell, if what you've told me now and what I've seen since I arrived is you're real feelings for her, I know that you will move mountains to make things right by her. The challenge is convincing her that you regret what you did to her, and making her see that you've changed. You'll regret breaking her heart every single day until the day that she wakes up and admits she's still in love with you, but hell, at the end of it you'll be changed for the better. Because we're meant to learn from our mistakes, so that we don't make them again. You have to change to show her that she's not making the same mistake twice.  
>"Now, when they roll her out of surgery you go straight to her room and sit there until she wakes up and think about what you are going to do to put right all your wrong right."<p>

The radio kept on crackling, and as Jace stared at Clarissa, lying frail in the bed, bruised, stitched and bandaged, with lines and monitors coming away from her.

"_**And now for a rather underplayed song I think. This is the debut single by young artist Jace Herondale, released when he was still in school. It never made it far in the charts, but I think this is possibly one of the best debuts I've ever heard. Its all about the girl who got away, who we now know as possibly one of the most famous young artists of the decade. This is Jace Herondale, and Lego House"**_

_I'm gonna pick up the pieces,  
>and build a lego house<br>if things go wrong we can knock it down_

My three words have two meanings,  
>there's one thing on my mind<br>It's all for you

And it's dark in a cold December,  
>but I've got ya to keep me warm<br>and if you're broken I will mend ya and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
>I'll pick you up when you're getting down<br>and out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now<p>

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
>I'll do it all for you in time<br>And out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now, now<p>

I'm gonna paint you by numbers  
>and colour you in<br>if things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall

And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before  
>and I will surrender up my heart<br>and swap it for yours

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
>I'll pick you up when you're getting down<br>and out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now<p>

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
>I'll do it all for you in time<br>And out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now<p>

Don't hold me down  
>I think my braces are breaking<br>and it's more than I can take

And if it's dark in a cold December,  
>I've got ya to keep me warm<br>and if you're broken then I will mend ya  
>and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on, now<p>

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
>I'll pick you up when you're getting down<br>and out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now<p>

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
>I'll do it all for you in time<br>And out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now<p>

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
>I'll pick you up when you're getting down<br>and out of all these things I've done  
>I will love you better now<p>

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
>I'll do it all for you in time<br>And out of all these things I've done  
>I think I love you better now<p>

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
>I'll pick you up when you're getting down<br>and out of all these things I've done  
>I will love you better now<p>

Jace remembered recording this song. He'd been young, upset over the circumstances over which his best relationship had ended. When the guy had asked him to come to the studio and record some tracks, he could only sing about one thing. They couldn't make an album out of it, but they managed to salvage one single from his emotional wreck.

* * *

><p>Clary's eyes flickered open.<p>

Where was she?

**Lyrics belong to Ed Sheeran, obvs.**

**Vikki ;)~**

**Ps, sorry for the slow update, I've had a lot on my plate and it's tough. On the brightside, I've finally come up with a mind blowing novel idea (I hope). If you want a synopsis or a sample either PM me or tell me in a review. I'll get one to you.**


	4. Chapter 4 It Must Have Been Love

**Right, so last chapter you guys said that things were a bit confusing because there was no evidence earlier in the story that Jace actually reciprocated the feelings of love for Clary. So, to combat this, I've decided to go back in time to when it all began in this chappie. Enjoy!P.s any of you who have read my other fic All the Moons Under the Sun may recognise a character (spoilers) so feel free to guess who they are going to play out in this fic! I'll tell you if you're right!**

* * *

><p><em>In the past...<em>

There was snow on the ground outside Jace and Clary's high school. Students ran around throwing large balls of slush at each other, laughing and generally enjoying each others company. Jace was in the middle of a group of his mates, all laughing and red cheeked from the cold. A little way away from them, a young girl with red hair, which was escaping her braid, was observing the scene from a bench, sketch book in hand, chewing a pencil.

Jace Herondale, the object of her observation, was cool, hot and certainly one of the most popular guys in her high school. Like every other girl she knew, apart from his sister and her best friend Isabelle, she wished one day that he would take notice of her and ask her out. But of course, why would the popular guy ask out "little red" as the others called her, not out of affection, but out of spite. Clary knew she was short, she knew that she was freckly and not as pretty or as leggy or as chesty as the other girls, but they loved to make fun of her because of it.

"Yo, Little Red, you're in our seat!"

"Yeah, go back to the baby school where you belong!"

"Come on guys, that's my sister's friend. Let her be. You don't want to have to fight with Izzy do ya?" Jace's voice was smooth, gentle and almost… caring. The bench next to her creaked as the other guys grumbled and wandered off. "What are you drawing?" Jace asked, trying to peer over her shoulder. "If it's me, you don't have to hide it from me. I know all the girls fantasise about having me in their beds." He chuckled.

That was Jace Herondale, the player. He had a different girl on his arm everyday, and he didn't care who or what he broke. That's why Clary knew it was dangerous to crush on him, why she avoided him when she was over Izzy's, why she never accepted a ride home with them. Because she was scared of becoming one of those girls, one of the number of broken hearts that he had trailed all other the floor.

* * *

><p><em>2 months later<em>

It was movie night. They had rented of all things, Pretty Woman, and were curled up on the sofa with a large bowl of popcorn to share between them. Izzy swore the movie was great, and that Clary was going to love it, but Clary wasn't sure. A movie about a girl who was a prostitute and the rich guy who happened to request her company for the night?

Izzy was curled up guarding the popcorn, her slippered feet tucked neatly underneath her, whilst Clary was stretched across the length of the sofa, her slipper socked feet in Izzy's lap. The floor creaked as Jace walked up behind them, just in time to catch the opening credits.

"Hey Clarissa. Budge up will ya?" she sighed and sat up, allowing him to slip onto the sofa. She felt Jace's arm go around her, and was going to shrug it off, but he was just so… warm. And nice, despite her knowledge of how awful he was to be in a relationship with. She guessed that he was only turning on the charm because she was his sister's kid friend, but it was doing wonders for her popularity to be seen chatting with Jace Herondale.

She couldn't remember what the movie was about, because tucked up against Jace's warm side; she was so comfortable that her eyes began to droop before the movie was even half way through.

* * *

><p><em>1 month later<em>

"I still can't believe that you two have lasted this long. This is possibly the longest relationship Jace has ever been in. A whole month. Whatever spell you've cast on him Clary, I want you to never take it off, you hear me." Jace could her Izzy talking to Clary as he came through the kitchen door. Clary was sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal, and Izzy was trying unsuccessfully to cook an omelette.

Clarissa. Only he was allowed to call her Clarissa. He loved the way her name rolled off his tongue, the way when he said it the corner of her mouth turned up slightly in irritation and humour. He still couldn't believe that they were dating. Little Clarissa and him. He smiled and chuckled lightly to himself before walking into the kitchen. Clary spun around and smiled at him, a smile that really beamed, and her strode over so that he could just… hold her. With Clary, just holding her was enough to make his heart race.

* * *

><p><em>2 months later<em>

The shopping centre was packed, and it was difficult to negotiate their way around the clothing shop. Especially since Jace refused to remove his arm from where it was draped across her shoulders, a warm weight that continually reminded her that her hot boyfriend was shopping with her. Occasionally people would stare, especially when they came across someone that they knew from school. Jace's friends always had a slight look of disdain about them Clary thought, and the girls always sent venomous jealous stares.

Izzy scuttled ahead, occasionally stopping to grab a top or a dress or a skirt off the racks for Clary to try on. She was insisting on dressing Clary, again, and Clary was happy to humour her if it meant that she could spend more time with Jace whilst Izzy did all the work.

She left him outside the changing rooms while she tried on the latest pile of "lush" clothes Izzy had picked out. Choosing her favourite ensemble, she walked out to find out what her boyfriend thought. Jace was sitting there, just looking at her, a small, crooked smile playing on his lips. He approved, obviously.

Clothes bought they escaped from Izzy to visit the coffee shop, curled up together with a cup of coffee each and each others company. Clary loved the way Jace could make her laugh about the smallest of things, the way that whenever he smiled she just couldn't help but smile with him. She couldn't believe that someone like Jace could have two such different personalities. His lips touched hers and she couldn't believe that she was actually kissing him, Jace Herondale.

The next morning, curled up against his warm chest on an innocent sleep over with Izzy, she couldn't imagine that life got any better.

* * *

><p><em>3 weeks later<em>

Clary left her art class happy. She was going out with Jace later, and then she was spending the weekend with Jace and Izzy, who were home alone because Alec was visiting Magnus and their parents were away at some work thing.

The halls were lined with students, a buzz of noise rising off the walls from their chatter. She slung the books she didn't need into her locker and headed towards the exit, her heart throbbing with anticipation of the night ahead.

Standing in the street was Jace, his golden hair reflecting lightly, his shirt clinging to his muscles gently, showing them off to the world. Her boyfriend. Her beautiful, too good for her boyfriend.

Kissing another girl. Holding another girl. Whispering things in her ear. Holding onto her face with ginger gentleness that he held her with.

Of course she'd managed to stay with Jace, because he was seeing other girls on the side.

The tears well up in the corners of her eyes, she ran for Izzy, and someone to take her home. Away from Jace.

Away from her broken heart.

* * *

><p><em>3 months later<em>

Jace lay on his bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling whilst contemplating his loneliness. To say he didn't understand the emotions he was feeling was an understatement. It felt like a piece of his heart was missing, ever since the incident with Amber outside the school. He'd been so happy to see Amber, but when he saw Clarissa's red hair streaking past towards his sister.

"Dude, are you coming or what? We don't want to miss the school rising star thing." Alec stuck his head his door. Jace sighed and stood up, grabbing his jacket from the hook behind his door.

* * *

><p>The room was packed. It had been a harsh 3 months but her music was her life now, and she didn't care about Jace any more. So what if he had cheated on her. Its not like she hadn't known he was a player. It wasn't as if she didn't already know that one day he was going to break her heart.<p>

Now she didn't need him. She had her music. She had her new, stronger personality. She had her brand new, gleaming motorbike with sexy new leathers. When she went out on her own now, boys stared. They stared and stared and stared. At school people couldn't understand the change, but she didn't care.

_Lay a whisper on my pillow,  
>leave the winter on the ground.<br>I wake up lonely, there's air of silence  
>in the bedroom and all around.<br>_

She wrote the song about Jace, about what she wished he felt about losing her. She knew that he didn't feel that way, but it didn't matter to her. She just wanted to tell the world how she felt, how broken she was when he left her.

_Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away._

_It must have been love but it's over now._  
><em>It must have been good but I lost it somehow.<em>  
><em>It must have been love but it's over now.<em>  
><em>From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out.<em>

Jace couldn't believe it. Little Clarissa was on stage, singing in front of everybody. His heart broke all over again to hear the emotion in her voice, to see the edge of sadness in her eyes, hidden under her makeup and perfectly arranged hair. The sweet little woman that he had loved hidden under the guise of a rock star.

Wait- loved?

_Make-believing we're together,  
>that I'm sheltered by your heart.<br>But in and outside I've turned to water  
>like a teardrop in your palm.<br>And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away. _

Clary could see him staring at the back of the room, sitting with Alec with a beer in his hand, his mouth practically hanging open. She looked him in the eye with all the venom she could muster from the remains of her torn heart.

_It must have been love but it's over now,_  
><em>it was all that I wanted, now I'm living without.<em>  
><em>It must have been love but it's over now,<em>  
><em>it's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows<em>  
><em>it's where the wind blows<em>

There was a scout for a well respected record label at the back of the room with a small camcorder. She couldn't believe the talent that this one young possessed. The emotion, the connection with the audience, the way that she just owned the stage with her presence.

_It must have been love but it's over now,  
>it was all that I wanted, now I'm living without.<br>It must have been love but it's over now,  
>it's where the water flows...<em>

Every one clapped as Clary left the stage, shaking slightly but grinning, and walked right into the arms of her two best friends, Simon and Izzy, catching a kiss on the lips from Simon and a squealing hug from Izzy.

She didn't need Jace Herondale.

She had a new life now.

**Okay so the song is It Must Have Been Love by Roxette- cookies if you know what movie it's from!**

**R&R my peepz!**

**Vikki :)~**

**and Merry Chrimbo if I don't get a post up tomorrow!**


	5. Chapter 5 The Show Must Go On

**I know that it has been ages since I last updated, but I have been snowed under two dissertations for school, revising for four exams that I have to get good grades in, prepare for and collect information for a coursework piece for Geography as well as deal with a lot of personal problems. I promise that I have not forgotten you guys and the reviews you've left me have been truly inspirational- you all seem to like my writing, much to my surprise! Now, enough with the incredibly boring authors note. On with the show- and this chappies song is The Show Must Go On by Queen.**

It was the middle of the night, and the rain was lashing down on the window. Clary felt like she was wrapped up in a human sized case of plaster and fabric, holding her together as her body slowly healed from the after math of the accident.

She was told it was normal not to remember the trauma, that the mind automatically forgets the trauma as not to torment the sufferer. But she wished she could remember. She wished she could know why that bastard, after all he had done to hurt her, could have possibly been in her hospital room, waiting for her to wake up.

When she'd asked Isabelle the other girl had dodged the question, claiming that she was unsure of whether or not the protection detail she'd had in the hospital had realised that she hated him, that he wasn't actually her boyfriend.

That was the other thing that he had done. He had pretended to be her boyfriend, claiming to care about her. He had even gone as far as to ride in the ambulance with her. Maybe it was because he thought that because she was famous now, because she was so different, that perhaps he could use her like all the other women in his life.

She hated him, she did. She hated him right to his deceitful bones, and nothing would ever change that. She picked up her notebook and stared at the scribbles she'd made earlier. Sighing, she closed her eyes and tried for the millionth time to fall asleep.

* * *

><p>When Isabelle had banged on his door at the earliest hour that any sane person would be awake, Jace wasn't impressed. In fact, he was pissed. He had a shoot in the evening and a catwalk the next day to prepare for, and he didn't need any interruptions. But Izzy was Izzy and she wasn't going to leave without getting what she came for.<p>

She'd dragged him to an apartment from which the sound of music was faintly drifting out of. It wasn't one of those cheap rundown basement sounds, nor was the apartment that was emitting them. Instead it was one of those modern upmarket affairs with a snazzy door knob and soft rock music.

It was somewhere that wasn't owned by the penniless or the trend unaware, but the aura that its exterior emitted was one that screamed class. Urban class.

Izzy dug around in her pocket and produced a key, and brandishing it like a trophy, unlocked the door and let herself in.

_Empty spaces - what are we living for?  
>Abandoned places - I guess we know the score<br>On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for?  
><em>

Clarissa and her band were gathered in a small circle on a low platform, heads bowed over their instruments, a small microphone dangling gently from between Clarissa's fingers. She was still wrapped up in plaster, but it was obvious that the accident hadn't affected her voice. Jace didn't know why, but this made him happy.

_Another hero, another mindless crime  
>Behind the curtain, in the pantomime<br>Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore?  
><em>

Her eyes were closed, her lips moving gently. There was a life to the music- emotions, thoughts, feelings that swelled and ebbed throughout the atmosphere.

_The show must go on  
>The show must go on, yeah!<br>Inside my heart is breaking  
>My make-up may be flaking<br>But my smile still stays on  
><em>

Her lips were a hard line, her expression changing from her soft features to grit determination and heavy emotion. Jace was mesmerised, he stood stock still in the doorway, just watching, not moving a muscle. He couldn't. He had to know this song, it was unlike any other that he had ever hear Clarissa sing.

_Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance  
>Another heartache, another failed romance<br>On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?  
><em>

Heartache? To Jace it seemed that she had lost a heart to ache since that day. She hadn't loved- emotion was just for show. She had a hard shell that no one seemed to be able to penertrate. She 'd never really had any long term love affairs- being as famous as she was everyone knew about her romantic life. She was private, but always in the spotlight, quiet, but always making noise.

_I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now  
>I'll soon be turning, round the corner now<br>Outside the dawn is breaking  
>But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free<em>

Then he realised. Her whole persona, it was a mask. That hard rock star live and let die face was something to hide her true feelings. Her true fear and heart-breaking pain. She was still the self-conscious little girl he had fallen in love with in high school.

_The show must go on  
>The show must go on, yeah!<br>Inside my heart is breaking  
>My make-up may be flaking<br>But my smile still stays on  
><em>

She was the perfect double act- the tough and the weak, rolled into one. He had known for a while that she couldn't possibly be as different as she made out.

_My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies  
>Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die<br>I can fly - my friends  
><em>

Yes she could fly, even though she had once crashed and burned. Jace realised why izzy had dragged him here, to see another side of Clarissa.

_The show must go on!  
>The show must go on!<br>I'll face it with a grin!  
>I'm never giving in!<br>On with the show!  
><em>

He was speechless.

_I'll top the bill, I'll overkill  
>I have to find the will to carry on<br>On with the -  
>On with the show! -<br>The show must go on..._

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, and her mouth opened with a silent scream of horror and shock.

**So sorry that you guys have had to wait so long for this chappie. For those of you who have stuck with me, my thanks. I know I am not an awesome author and that my stories are riddled with mistakes, but you're responses really motivate me. I've had this chapter on my memory stick for a while and just haven't had a chance to complete it. I'm hoping (fingers crossed) that I can at least write the start of a chappie this, along with a plan for a joint novel with a friend and a little bit more of my own novel, The Infection.**

**Ciao and Bow Wow**

**Vikki ;)~**


	6. AN

**Hi everyone. Okay, so you are going to yell at me. I have written yet another AN.**

**Update- I have nearly finished my dt coursework, done my pe moderation, almost completed my geography coursework, and EESW is over**

**this means to you- I have more time to write.**

**I have been through a lot of personal problems recently and your reviews (all 50 of them! I can't believe it!) have kept me sane and kept me going**

**to you, you guys make this story reality. Without you, it wouldnt have got this far.**

**Vikki ;)~**


	7. Chapter 6 Leave Out All the Rest

**Oops… so yeah, I haven't updated in forever. Awful English, I know. I suck. Anyway, how bad is this, I actually had to read my own story to know what to write the next chappie about. So, where did I leave off? Oh yeah, Izzy had just dragged Jace to Clary's apartment where she had been playing the show must go on. What is going to happen next? Hopefully this will be a good one! Amber will be making her reappearance in this chappie, and if you haven't read All the Moons Under the Sun (she's not the same character, she's just the same relationship to Jace) you'll find out exactly who she is. Language is a little obscene in this chapter (sorry, I've tried to use abbreviations where possible)**

"_Jace" _she spat, clenching her teeth together. What on earth was he doing in her apartment, intruding on her private business? It was bad enough that he had appeared in her hospital room (she was sure the media was having a field day with that one) and now he was in her apartment! Who did he think he was?

"Take a chill pill woman." Isabelle sighed. "I invited him here. I'm sick and tired of you two pretending like you can just forget who you are. _You_" she said, poking Jace in the chest "need to get off your arse and stop pretending that being a model was the career you dreamed about and start playing god damned music again. And Clarissa, stop this bad girl I'm not hurting or broken hearted act and actually admit that you still effing love him!"

Clary staggered backwards (metaphorically) and took in a deep breath to school her thoughts. "I don't love him." she said quietly. "I loath him. He ruined my life, and he is continuing to ruin it. I don't want him to have any part in my life Izzy. Get him out. And if you won't, I'm sure one of the boys will be happy to oblige." As if to prove her point, one of her friends stood from his position behind the drums, flexing his muscular arms.

"Just wait a minute Clarissa." The bastard was actually attempting to talk to her? "I think that I should at least get the chance to speak. To say what I think."

"See, one of you has sense."

"F off Izzy" she sighed.

"I'm going for coffee. You two idiots are coming with me. Don't even think about using the accident as an excuse Clarissa. That's what your crutches are for."

* * *

><p>The coffee shop only had a four group empty, so Clary and Izzy slid into chairs whilst Jace ordered their drinks. Clary hadn't spoken since she left her apartment, and she had her back turned to Izzy now. When she wanted to strop, the girl could strop. Jace had struck up a conversation with the girl making the coffee, and she was scribbling something furiously on a napkin. Clary suspected it was her number. Well, she was welcome to the bastard.<p>

"Stop being so moody. I'm doing this for your own good. Ever since you let that boy get away you've been a pain in the arse to deal with. Random hook-ups, broken hearts and this stupid belief you seem to have that you can't trust anyone. Don't think I haven't noticed Clarissa. You've never trusted me since you two broke up. Now, I don't know the ins and outs of what happened, but what I do know is that you need to get over yourself and realise that you have a chance at being happy for once." Izzy scowled and sighed when Clary made no move to respond.

But then she spoke.

"And have my heart broken all over again? To end up married to an unfaithful dickhead who's greatest passion is to conquest yet another girl? Because that is what he does Izzy. He picks you up and throws you back in the dirt when he's got what he wants."

"Clary…"

"Don't Clary me Izzy. I'm done. Done with him. I just want that bastard out of my life. Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"If that's what you really want, I'll go." Jace said quietly from behind her, his eyes sad and full of rejection.

"Jace don't… are you happy Clary? That's another heart you've ruined." Izzy jumped out of her seat and stormed out after him.

When Clary dragged herself and her casts up to her apartment, there was a girl leaning against the door, cigarette held elegantly between her fingers, lightly smoking. She had a full head of blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes, with an icy hard edge.

It was the girl. The girl that started everything, who had been with her boyfriend that fateful day. Clary wondered if she still felt the ghost of his lips on her cheek, the phantom weight of his arms embracing her. The sweet husk of his voice in her ear.

The girl took a drag from her cigarette.

"Well" she said, "you're a sight to see aren't you. I must say, the run over by a bus look just doesn't suit you at all. Well, actually, I don't really care, because in my opinion you're a bit of a heartless bitch aren't you? And no, I'm not your conscience, here to give your pretty little ass a good kicking.

"I'm here because you screwed my brother over. Twice. Now, the first time, I was willing to let it happen- after all, my brother is a bit of a dick. But this time, you've gone too far. He loves you bitch, and the more you push him away the less likely you are ever going to realise that you two have a chance at something great. Now, I know that my brother doesn't have the best rep when it comes to women, but when it's real, you'll do anything not to screw it up. So get your precious little head out of your own backside and fess up to my brother that you love him too still."

Those icy eyes drilled straight into Clary.

"Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that you don't love Jace, and I'll leave. But if you can't do that, I suggest you think about a way to get him back. Because I can't stand to see my brother broken hearted again. Now, I have strict orders to drag your arse to a recording studio. Btw, my name's Amber Herondale-Blake. But most people know me as Amber Blake. Lead singer of Ice Fire."

* * *

><p>The recording studio was a familiar place for Clary. Her musicians were the only thing missing- instead today she was playing with one of the best known rock bands on the circuit at the moment. Fronted by Jace's sister.<p>

She was Jace's sister.

His actual sister, not his adopted sister like Izzy.

She'd had it all wrong.

It was his sister.

_(__**AN- **__italics is Clary, _**bold is Amber, **_**bold italics is both)**_

The band started playing the opening tones of the song, and Clary recognised it instantly. After hours of refining and arguing, between them her and Amber managed to arrange the song into a suitable duet.

**I dreamed I was missing  
>you were so scared<br>but no one would listen  
>cause no one else cared<br>after my dreaming  
>I woke with this fear<br>what am I leaving  
>when I'm done here?<br>So if you're asking me, I want you too know**

Ambers vocal voice was so different to hers, the contrast sounded straight across her head phones the minute Clary started signing. Where as Amber had a sweet, soft almost operatic voice, Clary's was gentler, more gravely but still recognisably feminine. She had always thought that her voice suited gentle rock ballads and slow, sad songs.

_When my time comes  
>forget the wrong that I've done<br>help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
>and don't resent me<br>and when you're feeling empty  
>keep me in you're memory<br>leave out all the rest  
><em>_**leave out all the rest**_

She realised what Amber was doing. By making her perform with her, it was a sure fire way to make sure that her brother listened. That he heard the message that Amber was trying to write into the music with clever vocal changes and throwing Clary head first into an important solo for the chorus.

_Don't be afraid  
>I've taken my beating<br>I've shed but I'm me  
>I'm strong on the surface<br>not all the way through  
>I've never been perfect<br>but neither have you  
>so if you're asking me, I want you to know<em>

Amber was good, Clary realised as the day stretched on. She could choose lyrics that suited both their vocal styles, whilst also choosing lyrics that conveyed the message she wanted to the public. To Jace. She wanted him to see that Clary was still in love with him. But Clary wasn't sure. Was she in love with him?

_**When my time comes**__  
><em>**forget the wrong that I've done**_  
>help me leave behind some reasons to be missed<br>__**and don't resent me**__  
>and when you're feeling empty<br>keep me in you're memory  
><em>**leave out all the rest  
>leave out all the rest<strong>

She was none the wiser, no matter how many times they had to repeat the song until it was perfect. Perfect for Amber's label. Perfect for Amber's perfectionist style. The band just went along with it, but Clary had never done so many run throughs of the same song in one day. And they had to record today. It was a lot of pressure.

**Forgetting**_, all the hurt inside __**you've learnt to hide so well**__  
><em>**pretending**_, someone else can come and __**save me from myself**__  
>I cant be who you are<em>

No, she could be who he was. Who Amber was. Could someone else save her from her self destructive lifestyle? No one had ever tried, but in the space of one day she had been chewed out bu two very different people telling her to wake up and open her eyes to the fact that Jace was still in love with her. Was he? Clary didn't know. Could he save her? She didn't know. There were so many unknowns flying around her head that she couldn't make heads or tails of.

_**When my time comes  
><strong>__forget the wrong that I've done__**  
>help me leave behind some reasons to be missed<br>and don't resent me  
><strong>_**and when you're feeling empty**_**  
>keep me in you're memory<br>leave out all the rest  
>leave out all the rest<strong>_

_Forgetting, all the hurt inside you've learnt to hide so well  
>pretending, someone else can come and save me from myself<br>I cant be who you are  
>I cant be who you are.<em>

It wasn't until they finally recorded the song that she truly realised who she couldn't be.

She couldn't be the girl that first fell in love with Jace.

But she couldn't deny that this new person she had become didn't love him too.

She went home, grabbed her book of lyrics and started writing.

**Boom! I posted a chapter! I feel awful for not updating earlier but things have been really difficult recently.**

**Your reviews are truly what keeps me going and I can't thank you enough.**

**Vikki ;)~**


	8. AN Again

**Quick note to SuckerForJace (cause I can't PM you)**

**The problem you noticed was an editorial error, and I have gone back and fixed it. I appreciate you telling me, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed that there was a contintutity error. To clear things up, originally Jace broke up with Clary because she loved him and he was afraid of love. Then I thought, but that's a bit cliche, so I changed the story so that Clary left him because she thought he was unfaithful. **

**The reason why Jace didn't tell Clary is because he didn't know that she thought he was cheating on her. He can't tell her that he wasn't if he doesn't know what she thought.**

**I hope that helped**

**MortalEnemies 1234, Vikki ;)~**


	9. Chapter 9 You're All I Have

**So sorry it's been so long, but I've been caught up with a lot of personal and emothional issues, not the least being diagnosed with a long term muscular weakness in my knee, which affects my Martial Arts. However, I've been working hard to improve my writing technique as part of my English A-Level. I hope this new chapter is up to scratch, and that you all enjoy it. I'm also soon going to be removing all the ANs from this story.**

Jace couldn't deny that he was surprised Clary had invited him to the recording studio. He'd found the note, neatly folded and written in a handwriting that was heartbreakingly familiar, pushed under his door that morning. It had been six months since he'd last seen her, six months since the day she'd torn his heart into shreds for the second time.

The building itself was pretty non-descript- a stout concrete hulk the colour of sandpaper with streaks of black dirt. However, on the door was a thickset man dressed entirely in black, obviously security, and was checking the IDs of everyone as they came in. As Jace approached, he felt as if perhaps Clary was playing some kind of twisted joke on him, that the security guard would reject him and kick him to the curb like yesterdays news.

His surprise at finding the note was as clear in his mind as if it had only happened a moment ago. He had just awoken, hung-over and not feeling living in the day anymore. He'd poured himself a coffee and gone to grab a jumper from the peg by the door when he'd seen it, inoffensively sitting on the mat, staring up at him.

He'd opened it, and nearly dropped both it and his coffee.

Dear Jace.

Jace,

I know it's been a long time, and I don't deserve any good feelings from you. I should have said this a long time ago, but I wanted to give you space- time to hate me. I'm sorry for what I said- it never occurred to me that it would ever hurt you. I guess you could say it took a stern talking to for me to realise that all these years I've been hiding from the truth- that I never asked you what really happened, never gave you a chance to explain.

I know I don't deserve it, but I really want to see you again. I'm recording today- the address and time is on the back- I hope I could perhaps see you there?

Clary.

The hall to the recording studio was papered with posters, including ones of Clary, and Jace once again marvelled at how far she'd come- and how much she'd changed. Once he arrived in the studio, he could see Clary and her band, aimlessly milling around in the booth, and a sole recording technician sitting behind an overwhelming array of buttons, sliders and knobs. He smiled when he saw him and handed him a set of headphones. In the booth, Clary smiled at him, and behind her, the band got ready to play.

_Strain this chaos turn it into light  
>I've got to see you one last night<br>Before the lions take their share  
>Leave us in pieces, scattered everywhere <em>

She could see Jace, standing stock still, watching her, listening through the headphones that crushed his golden hair to his head. He appeared dumb struck, his eyes wide as he realised she was singing to him. She was still surprised that he had come- that had proved it to her. Jace was still in love with her. She didn't want to believe it when Amber had told her, but standing before her was real, living, breathing evidence.

_Just give me a chance to hold on_  
><em>Give me a chance to hold on<em>  
><em>Give me a chance to hold on<em>  
><em>Just give me something to hold onto<em>

_It's so clear now that you are all that I have_  
><em>I have no fear cos you are all that I have<em>  
><em>It's so clear now that you are all that I have<em>  
><em>I have no fear cos you are all that I have<em>

She was so free behind the microphone, a smile wide on her face. Her red hair was wild and curly, bouncing as her head moved to the beat. He could scarcely believe it, but she was singing to him. To him. He thought she'd changed so much, but underneath all that armour he realised the Clary he'd fallen in love with was trying to break through.

_You're cinematic razor sharp_  
><em>A welcome arrow through the heart<em>  
><em>Under your skin feels like home<em>  
><em>Electric shocks on aching bones<em>

Even though she had change irrevocably, over the past few months the startling realisation that she had been wrong all those years had taken its toll on Clary. She'd found herself unable to even look at another man, and all that she stood for before had come rushing back to the surface. Even her music had felt this shift- she had never been so inspired in her life.

_Give me a chance to hold on_  
><em>Give me a chance to hold on<em>  
><em>Give me a chance to hold on<em>  
><em>Just give me something to hold onto<em>

_It's so clear now that you are all that I have_  
><em>I have no fear cos you are all that I have<em>  
><em>It's so clear now that you are all that I have<em>  
><em>I have no fear cos you are all that I have<em>

_There is a darkness deep in you_  
><em>A frightening magic I cling to<em>

_Give me a chance to hold on_  
><em>Give me a chance to hold on<em>  
><em>Give me a chance to hold on<em>  
><em>Just give me something to hold onto<em>

_It's so clear now that you are all that I have_  
><em>I have no fear now you are all that I have<em>  
><em>It's so clear now that you are all that I have<em>  
><em>I have no fear now you are all that I have<em>

**Lyrics belong to Snow Patrol- Kudos if you know what song :)**

**Vikki ;)~**


	10. Chapter 10 Thank You Stars

**So, once again, I've had to take a huge chunk of time off... This time completely from writing. But recently I've been doing a load of writing exercises with my boyfriend :) so I'm back, hopefully.**

Over the next few months, and a lot of coffee, Jace and Clary gradually reconnected. It wasn't an instant relationship- how could it be after all the bad blood between them? But they tried, tried to talk through what had torn them apart.

Amber, it seemed, had become their relationship councillor, and often stepped in when topics such as 'so how many guys have you slept with' came up to dispell what usually dissolved into an argument and one or both storming off muttering something about how they wished they'd never been reunited.

It was those rocky days that cemented their friendship again. She was recording a new album so sometimes he would spend time with her in the studio, Because to Clary music was the way she communicated, expressed herself. She could tell Jace That she loved him through her music, but not through conversation with him. She was experimenting with a new style, something more acoustic, and to be honest she loved it, it wasn't fake like most music- there were no effects pedals or auto tune adjustments, just pure music. The way it was supposed to be.

But something was missing, or someone. Although she enjoyed her friendship with him, she found herself wanting more again. She had come to realise that Jace was scared, that he didn't want to move on from a friendship because he didnt want to lose her. So that day at the recording studio, the picked up her guitar, smiled, mouthed "I love you" to him and began to play.

_Some call it faith, some call it love. _

_Some call it guidance from above. _

_You are the reason we found ours, _

_So thank you stars. _

_Some people think it's far away, _

_Some know it's with them everyday. _

_You are the reason we found ours, _

_So thank you stars. _

_There are no winds that can blow it away on the air, _

_When they try to blow it away 's when you know it will always be there. _

_To some it's the strength to be apart, _

_To some it's a feeling in the heart. _

_And when you're out there on your own, it's the way back home. _

_There are no winds that can blow it away on the air, _

_When they try to blow it away 's when you know it will always be there. _

_Some call it faith, some call it love. _

_Some call it guidance from above. _

_You are the reason we found ours, _

_So thank you stars. _

_Thank you stars, _

_Thank you stars, _

_Thank you stars_

**only a short one, but I'm in Kenya right now so I've been squeezing writing in when I can. Review if you want to read more :)**

**Vikki**


	11. Chapter 11- All The Way 4 U

**I'MMMMMMM BACKKKKK! Did anyone miss me? Sorry, I've been off editing someone else's book, started writing my own, and trying to get myself together. But I'm hoping that I can post at least once a week from now on… yay :) I don't own anything, and if you wanna keep up with me and what's going on with me via social media, come find me on twitter ( VikkiLouiseJ) or on tumblr as Inkylady :) let's get on with the story!**

Jace watched in awe as Clary sang. His heart was in his mouth, his head swimming with thoughts and emotions he could even describe. He couldn't believe his eyes, his ears, his life. Had she said she loved him? Her lyrics, so touching, so moving, screamed she had, but he was unsure. The song finished, and the recording room door flew open. A mass of red hair flew into his arms, and her lips were on his, startling him. His arms wrapped around the small of her waist, drawing her to him, and all he could remember, taste, feel, need was Clary. Her touch, her voice, her vibrance, her intrinsic sass.

They were wrapped in their own bubble, until the music producer cleared his throat, and they broke apart, laughing like school children.

"Get a room you two!" he chuckled, and shooed them away. "Some of us have to work here!" they ended up wandering the street, hand in hand, just talking, talking the way they used to.

"You're such an ass Jace. Shouldn't you be falling to your knees, begging me to be your girlfriend after that?" she laughed, and pushed his chest firmly.

"I thought the relationship was assumed." She slapped him.

"This is why men are pains! You assume everything!" she huffed, and he grabbed, her, kissing her again.

"Very well then. Clarissa, will you do me the honour of being my girlfriend?" he battered his eyelashes, grasping her hands in his, a crooked grin on his lips.

"Why yes sir." She grinned. "Most certainly." He punched the air. "Don't be so childish Jace." They both laughed, and continued on their way.

* * *

><p>Over the next few weeks, a pattern emerged. They'd meet up, go for a walk somewhere, find a quiet corner, make out, and return to a coffee shop where they'd talk for hours. It was a relationship, but since Clary had said she loved him that day in the studio, neither of them had uttered any similar words. In fact, Jace had begun to doubt she meant it, and as that doubt crept in, it began to poison his thoughts. He found himself withdrawing from Clary, and he hated it.<p>

Then one day, he woke up to an idea.

An idea to prove once and for all if she did love him.

If she could read it in his music, and say it back, she loved him.

So he invited her to a small, dingy music bar he knew of, with an old battered bar that served good drink and heart-attack-waiting-happen food. His friend owned the bar, so it was easy for Jace to get himself a slot to perform.

From the side of the stage, he could see Clary looking around the bar, her eyes seeking him and not finding him anywhere, and he swallowed his fear. His heart was hammering as he ascended the stage. As he came into view a group of girls began whistling and calling out to him to find pleasure in their beds.

He could feel her eyes on him, but he didn't look up. He just began to strum on his guitar.

_Seems to matter what I do, so I'm saving this 4 U_

_Cos it seems to be the last piece there is_

_And you haven't had a chance yet to taste this_

_Fragments of a life you shouldn't miss_

Silence fell on the crowd, and he looked up, staring straight at Clary. Her mouth was wide open, and her eyes were locked on him.

_Seems to matter what I say, so I'll hold my tongue at bay_

_And rather use my mouth to kiss your frown away_

_So your doubts no longer darken your day_

_So you can hold your head up high come what may_

_So please remember that I'm gonna follow through all the way_

There was a tear in the corner of her eye, and she had the biggest, most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He found strength in his voice, and his smile began to echo hers.

_Cos it seems to matter where I go, I will always let you know_

_That the place where I am is never far_

_You know, you're not alone, don't be alarmed_

_I'll find you no matter where you are_

She mouthed back "and I'll find you" reaching her hand towards him as if to touch him. He closed his eyes and let his heart and voice feel the music, feel the love he was pouring into it. The song was raw and heartfelt.

_So please remember that I'm gonna follow through all the way_

_Oh my love, if it's all I can do, I'll take the fall 4 U_

_Cos I will soar when I lay down with you and give my all 4 U_

The crowd erupted into applause, and Clary ran to the stage, almost jumping on him, crying the happiest tears he had ever seen, and repeating over and over again that she loved him. He felt a tear in the corner of his eye, and laughed, wiping it away and sweeping her into his arms and kissing her tears.

The audience cheered, and they broke apart laughing, and Jace took his bow, before turning to Clary. He took a deep, heart filling breath, smiled, and said.

"Clary. You are the single best thing in my life. When we broke up, I was never the same. Since we've become closer again, I've realised that it was because a part of my soul was missing. Over the past few months we've moved past our past, and I'm ready to start our future. I love you so much. My Clary."

**Annnndddd he said it! Cyber cookies for those who can tell me who sang that song (which is one of me and my boyfriend's songs so this chapter has a lot of meaning for me)**

**Love to all who review!**

**Vikki :)~**


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